My Yesterday

I'm still slightly traumatized from my yesterday, and to be honest, I really think you would have been too if you were in my shoes. I expect for the most part, some chaos in my day to day activities just from having kids. And even more so from having boys. But yesterday.... yesterday my E man decided to really pack on the chaos.

It all started with me innocently wanting to run to the grocery store during lunch to buy some food. Daddio was home, so I knew I could actually go by myself! Hallelujah! I made the boys some chicken noodle soup and ran to the store.

P.S Daddy was napping. First mistake on my part.

I came back within a half hour. For an average child this might be enough time to plot some sort of naughtiness and then begin to execute it, but for E, the master of disaster, that's all he needs to turn my kitchen into a horror scene.

I came home, brought in all the groceries in one round and walked into my kitchen to find noodles everywhere. On the floor. On the wall. On the table. On the curtains. On my cupboards. In my fruit bowl. And of course on BOTH my kids!! But you see.... he didn't just stop there. He poured out ALL the liquid from his soup as well. My cream tablecloth looked like a kid had peed all over it. Instead of a pretty cream color, I had a yellow sticky mess.

You're wondering if it actually stayed on the table. The answer to that is simple. It did not. All of my chairs were sticky, along with the floor and parts of the wall.

E at some point must have realized while I was gone the mess he made-- either that or A, his big brother told him he was making a mess-- and decided it was time to clean it up. He grabbed some of my paper towels and tried to soak up the of the liquid.

This is what I came home to him doing and naturally by this time I was home and trying not to lose it. However, as soon as he picked up those sopping wet paper towels from the table and began to swing them around like a cowboy rope, I had no choice but to try to run to my happy place in my head.

Let me repeat that. He actually picked up soaking wet paper towels and swung them ALL OVER.

I don't think I made it all the way to my happy place.

Instead....

I made a bee line toward E telling him to, "Stop this instant! You're making a bigger mess!"

Apparently he didn't hear me and swung his soaking towel a few more times for good measure, spraying my kitchen, part of my family room and myself.

Unfortunately for him, his actions earned him a timeout. Mostly for his own good. His chance of survival in the bathroom were much higher than out in the open where I was. In my mind, I wanted to carry him upstairs and chuck him out a window.

Of course though, in pure E fashion, leaving him in the bathroom was a stupid idea as well. We have our iron and iron board in there hanging from the back of the door on this nifty little hanger. E figured since he was bored and all, that he should kick the back of the door over and over until he kicked the iron board off the door and ripped the hanger off. Mind you, it was SCREWED into the door. Not hanging over it.

When I found him in there, lucky for him I'd made it to my happy place in my mind.... I'm thinking now that I may have actually gone beyond it and entered crazy town. I swiftly removed him from the bathroom after trying of course to open the door, which wouldn't, because the iron board was halfway open and blocking the door. I didn't, scratch that, couldn't talk to him; my brain was short circuiting by now.

I handed him a full bag of cheerios. This way A and E could share them while I made dinner, cleaned the noodle mess and fixed the bathroom door.

Halfway through making dinner, not wanting to be left out, my littlest boy A.M woke up and started to fuss. He was hungry. I ignored him, rushing to finish dinner. And then A walks into the kitchen to inform me, "Mom, E dumped out the whole bag of cheerios." Doesn't seem like a big deal right? It's just unfortunate that EVERYTHING else had already happened by now.

I honestly didn't believe A for a second. I mean really, how could ONE child be so incredibly destructive in only a 1 to 2 hour time period?? I went to inspect. And sure enough my carper was covered in an entire bag full of cheerios. By this point, I really should have just been impressed with his mad skills.... buut I wasn't. Not even a little bit. I was halfway through dinner with a hungry crying baby, a carpet full of cheerios, a kitchen still covered in chicken noodle soup, a broken bathroom door AND only a short time before people came over to carve pumpkins. Stress does not even begin to describe what I was feeling.

But it was all ok. Because I was already neck deep in the crazy town lake in my head and I knew I just had to keep telling myself that Daddy M was going to be home soon. He had managed to sneak out just after the noodle fiasco to go to school.

Any minute now.

He'll just walk through that door.

And rescue me.

Before I drown in crazy town lake.

Just Medium

As most of you probably know, or can surmise, based off the photo of my oldest son, A, he is in Kindergarten. He had a little experience a few weeks ago that he told me about that surprised me a little. And in all honesty, it shouldn't have. Like any other day, I drove up and collected him from school and proceeded to ask him about his day and what he learned. Usually he tells me something irritating like, "I jus' forgot Mom." But on this particular day he told me something that had bothered him.

A's class occasionally goes outside of his Kindergarten classroom to the school gym and I am assuming to other areas of his Elementary school. On this special day, they did just that, went to the gym. His teacher has them walk in a line passed the other students and classrooms, meaning, naturally they would pass other teachers and other students varying in age. It just so happened that one of these other students made a comment about A's class, "Awwww, they're just so cute! Look how little they are!" A, highly irritated by this, remembered the incident and then in the car told me this person was not being very nice, "I'm not a little person Mom. I'm jus' a medium one."

I agreed with him about being a medium a person, but tried to explain to him that the girl that said that about him was not trying to be mean. She just thought his class was cute. I don't think he really approved of my answer. He just kept reminding me that he was, "medium," not small.

SO, let this be a lesson to people who have children 4 and older-- they HEAR what you're saying and it DOES affect them. So please be careful of what you say because they are trying hard to fit in and figure out what they are. Yes, even 4 and 5 year olds have little emotional issues. But don't tell them their emotions are little. They're just medium.

Horrified

Once upon a time there was a cute little family full of boys. There was the oldest son, A, the middle son E, and the newest addition and, of course, littlest son A.M.

One day their mamma decided it was a nice day for visiting their papa's school before they picked him up. So off they went. But before they enjoyed their nice walk around campus, mamma had to feed and change A.M. He was very hungry and his diaper was very full.

A and E watched a movie while mamma fed A.M. A was mostly good at listening to mamma and stayed in the back row of the car. E had other plans and crawled all over the car, because he knew mamma couldn't physically stop him. And this is just where the fun was beginning. Maybe if mamma knew what was coming she would have just stayed in the car.

Sad for her though.... she had no idea what she was walking into.

All 3 boys got out of the car once A.M was fed and began to walk toward the main building at papa's school. A.M was of course in the stroller and biggest brother A was eager to help push him, so mamma let him. E was more interested in running ahead and smelling flowers/running along the edge of said flower beds at breakneck speed.

This cute little family full of boys finally made it to the main building so that A.M could be changed and they could proceed on their leisurely walk. They searched for a changing table. High and low. But it seemed that regular people were using the handicap stalls in many of the restrooms, preventing mamma from having a place to actually change littlest brother. Frustrated, mamma found a "private" corner where she could change A.M. She got all her stuff out, ready to change littlest brother, smiling politely at all the people looking at her as they passed by. E seeing that littlest brother was being changed, realized that he had to go potty too. Mamma told him to wait since the restroom was just a few steps away and changing A.M took less than a minute. She then went about her business. It was then that biggest brother A shouted to mamma, in the crowded pavilion area,

"MOM! E is going PEE!!!!" 

Mortified at what that could mean, mamma abandoned A.M who was safe in his stroller and rushed over to see E pulling his pants up, a puddle of urine on the floor, a few people stopped watching the horror as the carefree 3-year-old whizzed all over their precious campus floor. And now they stand, waiting to watch the rest of the scene unfold.

Mamma's insides wanted to do this to him. BUT....

....society has taught her she should react more like this in public. 

We'll just fast forward to the end where it turned out that E was allowed to live.  * Hurray!* (Although, he did sit a corner until mamma was ready to leave.) A helped clean up the mess by collecting a bunch of paper towels and A.M finally got his diaper changed. And mamma hurried out as fast a she could, praying that the janitorial service cleans behind random pillars back in corners of very busy buildings.

--yes people, my son did in fact pee INSIDE a public building. Not only were we inside a building, BUT the bathroom was only 10 feet away and I had just BARELY walked out of it trying to find a changing table.