My Yesterday

I'm still slightly traumatized from my yesterday, and to be honest, I really think you would have been too if you were in my shoes. I expect for the most part, some chaos in my day to day activities just from having kids. And even more so from having boys. But yesterday.... yesterday my E man decided to really pack on the chaos.

It all started with me innocently wanting to run to the grocery store during lunch to buy some food. Daddio was home, so I knew I could actually go by myself! Hallelujah! I made the boys some chicken noodle soup and ran to the store.

P.S Daddy was napping. First mistake on my part.

I came back within a half hour. For an average child this might be enough time to plot some sort of naughtiness and then begin to execute it, but for E, the master of disaster, that's all he needs to turn my kitchen into a horror scene.

I came home, brought in all the groceries in one round and walked into my kitchen to find noodles everywhere. On the floor. On the wall. On the table. On the curtains. On my cupboards. In my fruit bowl. And of course on BOTH my kids!! But you see.... he didn't just stop there. He poured out ALL the liquid from his soup as well. My cream tablecloth looked like a kid had peed all over it. Instead of a pretty cream color, I had a yellow sticky mess.

You're wondering if it actually stayed on the table. The answer to that is simple. It did not. All of my chairs were sticky, along with the floor and parts of the wall.

E at some point must have realized while I was gone the mess he made-- either that or A, his big brother told him he was making a mess-- and decided it was time to clean it up. He grabbed some of my paper towels and tried to soak up the of the liquid.

This is what I came home to him doing and naturally by this time I was home and trying not to lose it. However, as soon as he picked up those sopping wet paper towels from the table and began to swing them around like a cowboy rope, I had no choice but to try to run to my happy place in my head.

Let me repeat that. He actually picked up soaking wet paper towels and swung them ALL OVER.

I don't think I made it all the way to my happy place.

Instead....

I made a bee line toward E telling him to, "Stop this instant! You're making a bigger mess!"

Apparently he didn't hear me and swung his soaking towel a few more times for good measure, spraying my kitchen, part of my family room and myself.

Unfortunately for him, his actions earned him a timeout. Mostly for his own good. His chance of survival in the bathroom were much higher than out in the open where I was. In my mind, I wanted to carry him upstairs and chuck him out a window.

Of course though, in pure E fashion, leaving him in the bathroom was a stupid idea as well. We have our iron and iron board in there hanging from the back of the door on this nifty little hanger. E figured since he was bored and all, that he should kick the back of the door over and over until he kicked the iron board off the door and ripped the hanger off. Mind you, it was SCREWED into the door. Not hanging over it.

When I found him in there, lucky for him I'd made it to my happy place in my mind.... I'm thinking now that I may have actually gone beyond it and entered crazy town. I swiftly removed him from the bathroom after trying of course to open the door, which wouldn't, because the iron board was halfway open and blocking the door. I didn't, scratch that, couldn't talk to him; my brain was short circuiting by now.

I handed him a full bag of cheerios. This way A and E could share them while I made dinner, cleaned the noodle mess and fixed the bathroom door.

Halfway through making dinner, not wanting to be left out, my littlest boy A.M woke up and started to fuss. He was hungry. I ignored him, rushing to finish dinner. And then A walks into the kitchen to inform me, "Mom, E dumped out the whole bag of cheerios." Doesn't seem like a big deal right? It's just unfortunate that EVERYTHING else had already happened by now.

I honestly didn't believe A for a second. I mean really, how could ONE child be so incredibly destructive in only a 1 to 2 hour time period?? I went to inspect. And sure enough my carper was covered in an entire bag full of cheerios. By this point, I really should have just been impressed with his mad skills.... buut I wasn't. Not even a little bit. I was halfway through dinner with a hungry crying baby, a carpet full of cheerios, a kitchen still covered in chicken noodle soup, a broken bathroom door AND only a short time before people came over to carve pumpkins. Stress does not even begin to describe what I was feeling.

But it was all ok. Because I was already neck deep in the crazy town lake in my head and I knew I just had to keep telling myself that Daddy M was going to be home soon. He had managed to sneak out just after the noodle fiasco to go to school.

Any minute now.

He'll just walk through that door.

And rescue me.

Before I drown in crazy town lake.