What we Women do to Ourselves to Bring Little People to this Earth

Some fun facts about what your body does AFTER you've given birth. For some reason, I usually only remember a few of these things. And any first time pregnant Mom out there... these are just things I have gone through. Your experience might be altogether different.

• You may have just given birth, but you'll probably leave the hospital looking like you're still at least 4-5 months pregnant. Those poor muscles just don't like to go back as quick after baby #3 or 2.
• I had an episiotomy, so sitting on my butt.... did not feel so great. And honestly, being stuck in a bed due to sheer exhaustion doesn't help the toosh toosh either.
• Not only will you give birth and bleed then, you'll also have to endure the worlds longest period after your little angel is born. My record? I think like 2 weeks...
• If you have other children, they just might annoy the crud out of you. Maybe it's some carnal instinct to care for your newest addition and having other kids making demands on you is just not kosher in your crazy post partum brain.
• You will wake up, just to make sure your baby is still breathing. And it won't be a gentle awakening. It'll be a panicked one.
• If you're nursing, it's going to start to hurt after the first day. And it won't stop hurting for a while. Ask for some Lansinoh! 
• Also related to nursing, you'll probably go from an A to a C by just being pregnant, and then once your milk comes in and you're engorged- you'll jump to a DD until things start to level out, then you'll be like a D.
• And when your milk lets down, it'll do it when it wants to. So buy some breast pads to save yourself some grief. 
• Nursing bras suck. I'm thinking of buying a front snap sports bra--seriously! Maybe some of these are worth looking into:
  http://www.babycenter.com/101_the-best-nursing-bras_10369715.bc?scid=momsbaby_20121009:5&pe=MlVDOW9YdXwyMDEyMTAwOQ..
• Wearing normal clothes sounds daunting, you'll most likely end up in PJs or maternity clothes for the first few weeks after baby.
• You won't have the energy or desire to try too hard to make yourself look less like a zombie and more like a normal human. Unless of course you're forced to go outside for extended periods of time or you're having lots of visitors.
• Sleep when the baby sleeps. For real! SLEEP when they sleep!! Because at night, if your cute new addition is like mine, will sleep longer when they're on your chest, but you can't really do that ALL night. Apparently it's not safe or something like that. *shrug* SO.... this means they'll wake up every hour wanting food or your attention.
• Diaper rash.... is not exclusively for babies. Just sayin'
• Your bladder is going to struggle for power over your urge to pee. Luckily after time, this will become less of a problem. But for now.... just be sure you're wearing a pad, which you probably already are since you're on a marathon period at the moment.
• Constipation. It's a real problem. Take the dang colace the nurse wants to shove down your throat! You'll be thanking her later!

Am I missing anything mom's? I'm sure I am. Like I said, you might experience something completely different. Just remind yourself- which shouldn't be hard- that you have a new beautiful baby to make up for all this crap you're going through.